My divorce was one of the most challenging experiences I’ve ever faced. It was emotionally draining and mentally challenging as I struggled to handle the emotional, legal, and financial difficulties that came with ending my marriage. My family and friends were great support, I felt overwhelmed and didn’t know where to turn for help. While I had a fantastic therapist, she couldn’t help me with certain things, and I saw the same thing with my lawyer. Looking back, I realize that a divorce coach could have made a significant difference in my journey.

TL;DR: A divorce coach provides guidance and support during the legal, financial, and emotional challenges of divorce, leading to more amicable outcomes and a smoother process.

How A Divorce Coach Could Have Helped Me

If I had been aware of the existence and benefits of divorce coaching during my divorce. In that case, I believe the process would have been much smoother and less stressful, especially dealing with a high-conflict/toxic person. Here’s how a divorce coach could have helped me:

Emotional Support

A divorce coach could have provided me with much-needed emotional support during this rough time. While I was seeing a therapist, having a divorce coach could have helped in ways my therapist or lawyer couldn’t. They could have helped me manage my emotions effectively, allowing me to focus on the practical aspects of my divorce while maintaining my mental health. Many times divorce coaches have ridden the same wave as their clients. It would have been a huge help to have the emotional support of someone who had gone through a divorce with a toxic or abusive partner. While my therapist and lawyer were great, they didn’t always understand my emotional struggles.

Guidance Through Legal And Financial Challenges

A divorce coach could have helped me understand the legal processes, point out important things I should have been documenting, and create a plan to address financial worries like dividing assets and managing debt and point out things I should be looking for. When you are going through a high-conflict divorce, things can be overlooked or even thought to not be a big deal, such as household items, personal belongings, or even kids’ artwork. A divorce coach could have shared everything I needed to discuss with my lawyer or made sure I set aside. Their guidance could have empowered me to make educated decisions and confidently approach my divorce. There was so much that I didn’t know or understand during that time.

Effective Communication Strategies

Communication with my ex was one of the most challenging parts of my divorce. A divorce coach could have helped me with communication strategies that could have helped me with documentation and possibly communication that could have helped me come to a better agreement. Communication during and after divorce is one of the hardest things to deal with. If I had a divorce coach, I would have also saved myself a lot of heartache. As a coach, communication is one of the first things I try and touch on with my clients.

Co-Parenting Plan

As a parent, one of my biggest worries was the well-being of my children. A divorce coach could have helped me create a co-parenting plan that focused on the needs of our children. Sometimes, I felt my lawyer was pushing me to settle and not listening to my concerns. When you are going through a high-conflict divorce, there are things you need to have in place. At the time, I didn’t know what they were, and my lawyer didn’t offer them up, and honestly, she probably didn’t know herself. I had repeatedly heard that I needed a “detailed” plan, but I didn’t know what that meant. If I had been working with a divorce coach, they would have helped me understand what was important, what details I needed, or what I needed to fight for when working on my parenting plan.

The Importance Of Seeking Help

My experience stresses the importance of seeking help during a divorce. If I had known about divorce coaching, I might have been better equipped to handle the emotional, legal, and financial challenges that came with ending my marriage. It’s important to seek resources and support systems to assist you during this challenging time. A divorce coach would have been able to share so many important things with me, which would have been a huge help.

How To Find A Divorce Coach

If you’re going through a divorce and feel like you could benefit from the guidance and support of a divorce coach, which I think everyone needs to think about, I recommend asking for recommendations from friends, family members, or professionals who have gone through a similar experience. You can ask your lawyer or even your therapist. You can also do online research to find divorce coaches in your area who specialize in this field. Divorce coaches aren’t limited to a specific area like lawyers or therapists. Look for someone you connect with and understands your situation. There are coaches out there that understand the ins and out of having special needs children, military families, etc.

Remember that finding the right divorce coach may take time, but investing in this relationship can ultimately benefit your emotional well-being and the outcome of your divorce process.

The Growing Popularity Of Divorce Coaching

Divorce coaching is becoming more and more popular as people see the value and importance of having professional guidance and support during the challenging process of ending a marriage. In a world where the divorce rate remains high, the demand for divorce coaching services is only expected to grow.

The American Bar Association (ABA) has acknowledged the value of divorce coaching, and many professionals in the field are members of the International Coach Federation (ICF) or the Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP). These organizations offer training, resources, and support to divorce coaches, ensuring they are well-equipped to help their clients navigate the complexities of divorce.

As more people recognize the benefits of working with a divorce coach, it’s likely that this profession will continue to grow in popularity and importance. With the right coach, individuals can come out of their divorce feeling more confident, empowered, and prepared for the next chapter of their lives.

Additional Support

While a divorce coach can offer important advice and support during a divorce, it’s key to remember that they are not a substitute for legal representation or therapy. Along with working with a divorce coach, you should also get the assistance of an attorney to handle the legal aspects of your divorce and a therapist to address any emotional challenges you may be facing. While many divorce coaches, like myself, have a psychology or legal studies background, it is not where we primarily focus. Having a team of all three is important during the journey.

Building a strong support system during this challenging time is so important. Reach out to friends, family members, and support groups to find the encouragement and understanding you need to navigate your divorce successfully.

My family and friends were amazing during my divorce. I even had a close friend experiencing the same journey I was. But in the end, there were times when they got tired of hearing about my divorce or didn’t understand the struggles I had with him. Having a divorce coach or a support group that had ridden the same wave would have been a huge help for me.

Embracing The Future

Ultimately, a divorce coach can help you transition from a difficult period of your life to a brighter, more hopeful future. By providing guidance, support, and practical advice, a divorce coach can empower you to make informed decisions, develop useful communication skills, and maintain a sense of balance throughout the process. Investing in a divorce coach can be the key to emerging from your divorce feeling strong, confident, and ready to face the next chapter of your life.

My personal experience with divorce shows the importance of seeking help and resources during this challenging time. A divorce coach could have made a huge difference in my journey. I believe that others facing similar challenges could greatly benefit from their guidance and support. As the popularity of divorce coaching continues to grow, it’s important for individuals going through a divorce to think about seeking the assistance of a qualified coach to help them navigate the process and prepare for the future.

References And Resources

1. American Bar Association (ABA) – Divorce Coaching
2. International Coach Federation (ICF) – Find A Coach
3. Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP) – Find A Divorce Financial Planner
4. Psychology Today – The Benefits of Divorce Coaching